My real name is Martha

Vermeer's Martha and Mary

“As Jesus and his disciples were on their way he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him.  She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.  But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.”  That’s me.  Distracted. Constantly.  Last night I couldn’t sleep because anxiety was pressing heavily against my chest as nightmares of all the stuff in my life jockeyed for first position in a long, LOOONNNGGG queue of top priorities.  Sometimes I get so overwhelmed, I don’t even know where to start and I worry about everything that has to get done.  I feel like I have so much to do that I can’t even read my bible because other “priorities” keep popping up and, really, I can do my study with Him at any time of the day, right? No. Then I don’t get to it and I feel even worse because He is deserving of ALL my time! Ugh.  Spiritual warfare?  I’m sure that’s part of it. “He’d” (I don’t even like to say his name) wants me pulled away from my Jesus. No way man. Stand firm, stand strong on the Word of God.

So tonight I sat on the couch, got off all 4 of my email accounts, tried to shut the door on my mind palace of chaos and I pulled out my Bible.  Of COURSE I’m directed to Martha.  Jesus is just saying, “Seriously. Why do you do this to yourself? ‘You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.‘ Hang out with me for a while and you will feel soooo much better.”  Then I look in the margin at something I’d written a hundred years ago and it says, “Be anxious for NOTHING” (all caps and double underlined).  Ok, God I got it.  Thanks for not holding grudges, for forgiving, for loving and for actually wanting to spend time with me. I am grateful, humbled, and blessed. xo, Jenn

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